


If It’s Not With You

by WritingsLVPL



Category: The 1975 (Band)
Genre: Bands, Multi, idkwhatimdoing, the 1975
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-05-13 16:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19254799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingsLVPL/pseuds/WritingsLVPL
Summary: He hasn't always been like this, Matty. Once he was at peace with his soul and thought his way of life was one that would live on forever. Until age 30, he'd been in a band. The 1975. Together, Matty Healy, Ross MacDonald, George Daniel and Adam Hann became one of the most loved bands in the world. 17 years of it. And for what? For all that is left now is the vague memory of what the  formerly known best friends had shared for their career. Then they had disappeared from the charts, from social media, from the world. Why, Matty can't quite remember, yet he knows it was something to do with himself.





	1. Tired Eyes And A Reeling Mind

Days bleak, sunlight dimmed by ever-drawn curtains, with no solace in the silence of his flat. Phone is dead, has been for what seems like months, yet it couldn't have been more than a few days. Accustomed to the smell of drifting dust in the air, a solitary man with tired eyes and a reeling mind lay in the darkness of what he used to be proud to call home.  
He hasn't always been like this, Matty. Once he was at peace with his soul and thought his way of life was one that would live on forever. Until age 30, he'd been in a band. The 1975. Together, Matty Healy, Ross MacDonald, George Daniel and Adam Hann became one of the most loved bands in the world. 17 years of it. And for what? For all that is left now is the vague memory of what the formerly known best friends had shared for their career. Then they had disappeared from the charts, from social media, from the world. Why, Matty can't quite remember, yet he knows it was something to do with himself.   
It was always to do with him.

These days, memories of what had been are the only thing circling the curly-haired man's mind. What is the point in wasting your energy imagining something new and never before discovered, when you can picture what has already been and gone? To re-live the part of your life that you treasure the most. Yet the part that can never come back.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	2. We Are Our Own Rose-Coloured Glasses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a longggg time back in the past from the first chapter...I guess that was sort of a prologue ish thing. But yeah sorry if that’s confusing.

There wasn't much happening in the year 2002 in Wilmslow. Scenery was changing and Matty seemed to be the only one to notice. Greenery didn't seem as green, parks weren't as lively as they had been in previous years and the street on which he lived seemed almost abandoned, though every house was inhabited. Something about the place had lost its spark of wonder and Matty just wasn't as intrigued by the not so greenery or boring parks anymore.

He was only in year 9 and he was already bored of the small town that he lived in and as he hauled his backpack to school with him on his boney back, he day-dreamt about ways to make it out of this town and into a big city. On the journey, the small boy pressed shuffle on his MP3 player and settled for that as the most spontaneity he'd get today, listening to the harsh drum beats of some metal music and maybe getting a minor headache because of it. But that was fine, at least it was different.

Matty shuffled into form and sat at his usual desk next to his friend Ross, who has fallen asleep probably because he hadn't gotten enough sleep the preceding night. A slender hand reached across from Matty's table over to Ross' head and ruffled his hair slightly to wake him up. Sure enough, the doe- eyed boy lifted his head from the cold, wooden table with a snarl, though a smile soon graced his face as he saw who had awoken him from his slumber.  
"Matty, hey mate! How are you?"Ross was always in a good mood when Matty was around. They'd been friends for years and something about the shorter boy made Ross happy.   
"I'm ok, bored as ever, Ross how about you, mate?" Matty beamed back at him, greatful for the taller boy's pleasant attitude on this dull morning.  
"I'm great! I had something to tell you by the way, you know Adam Hann from music?" Matty nodded. "His girlfriend asked me if we wanna join Adam's band for some talent show or something in a few weeks." Ross informed.  
"Ah, really? I mean I know who Adam is but why did his girlfriend ask?"  
"Dunno. I guess Adam's quite shy." Ross shrugged.  
"I mean I guess we could. I mean- you can kinda play bass and I've always wanted to learn to play drums so?" Matty though aloud.  
"Great, so I'll tell him yes then. Apparently he's also got some boy called Finn who's gonna be in the band. He's gonna sing or something." Ross replied and Matty just nodded, slightly disinterested in whoever else Adam had put in the band, even though Matty was ecstatic to have something more to his life to do for the next few weeks rather than spending his days watching TV and sleeping. Just then, the bell for first lesson rang and Matty rubbed a hand across his face, to shake some of his remaining tiredness away, combing a hand through his gelled straight hair before bidding Ross goodbye for the day as they had no classes together which was a shame if you asked them.  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
Ross had told Matty to meet him at what the small boy assumed was Adam's address after school so they could all meet and plan what they were going to do for this talent show. Matty can't deny, he was mildly nervous walking up to the Hann residence and knocking on the chipped wood door, taking a sharp breath as the door opened. Matthew was met with the boy he recognised as Adam from music class and quickly gave him a warm smile, despite his nervous feelings, as he wanted to appear approachable to this character since they'd not spoken much prior to now.  
"Matty! Hey, sorry I didn't get to tell you myself about the band, I just have a bit of social awkwardness so I got Rebecca to do it for me." The mousy- haired boy rubbed at the back of his neck while speaking.  
"Don't worry about it, mate. Joining a band is loads better than just swannin' 'round Wilmslow all day after school doing nothing." Matty shakes his head and Adam gestures inside.  
"Ross' already here, come on in." The thin boy leads Matty through his house and into his kitchen, where he finds Ross and who he assumes to be Finn, the singer apparently.   
"Hey guys, Matty's here!" Adam greeted the other boys as he strolled into the room, the short boy following not too far behind. They'd all shared salutations with one another before sitting down at the kitchen table to talk about the band. 

After quite a bit of deliberation, the band's name 'the slow down' had been agreed on and the boys were ready to start playing. Finneas or whatever his name was, Matty didn't really care as the guy didn't seem all that interesting nor interested in what they were doing, turned out to be quite a shitty singer but they couldn't do anything now that they'd already agreed that this was who was in the band. And anyway, Finn wasn't the worst singer in the world.   
A few hours later after about of knocking around on drums and guitars, the boys decided to head home because Matty's mum, Denise, would give the boy a right telling off if he was home past 7 o'clock, so Matty thought it wise to leave at 6:30 since his house was about a twenty minute walk from Hann's. Oh yeah and Matty had taken a shine to calling Adam by the name Hann. Ross and Matty became rather close friends with Adam quickly, though they can't exactly say the same about Finn but oh well, it wouldn't matter after a few weeks, anyway. All in all, his day was more fun than usual and that's what counted to Matty.

And as the boy made his brisk walk home, he started to notice the greenery just looked a little bit more green than it did this morning and the park he walked past seemed a bit more lively. Or maybe that was just his own happiness, turning the world rose- coloured.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer of a chapter this time- I'm really getting into this story it's quite fun to write and I like it a lot so far. Tell me what you think in the comments because I'd love to know. Also vote if u liked it xx :). P.S. DONT WORRY GEORGE IS GONNA BE IN IT SOON IM JUST GETTING STARTED IN TELLING THE STORY OF THEIR BAND ALTHOUGH THE STORY IS DEFINITEKY NIT COMPLETELY ACCURATE I WANTED TO STILL MAKE IT QUITE SIMILAR. - Daisy Xx


	3. People That I Can Call Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The real band forms that’s it sis

The day after was a Saturday. Matty knew this meant he'd have to find something to do all day, since his mum would probably be going out with her friends as per usual on a weekend. The street on which he lived never had anything going on, so Matty made the quick decision to go to Ross' house for the day. So, he practically rolled out of bed at 9am and rubbed his eyes, reddening them as he padded over to his wardrobe. The pale-ish boy threw on some blue jeans and a t-shirt, before heading into the bathroom to gel his hair like he normally would. He never did like his natural curls but he thought maybe he would when he grew older. As Matty knows, everything looks different when you're older, though it remains exactly the same as it always has been.

Matty almost ran down the stairs, skipping a step at a time, and he was out the front door, shaking the house as he all but slammed it when he left. Once he had ridden his bike off his own street, Matty reached into his pocket and pulled out a packet of cigarettes, a few already gone from the pack, and a lighter, decorated with a small rectangle. Matty thought drawing geometry shapes was fun, so he drew one in his lighter. As he lit his cigarette and brought it up to his chapped lips, he continued to ride his bike, one handed after putting his lighter away because he thought he looked so cool like that. 

Almost arriving at Ross', Matty realised he hadn't actually let the other boy know he was coming, so he took his Nokia phone out and gave Ross a round a bout 3 minute warning that he was on his way. So, when Matty  was greeted at the door by a disheveled looking Ross, he wasn't surprised as the boy had probably only woken up about five minutes ago. Nevertheless, the two friends high-fived and Matty welcomed himself in, Ross being slightly less enthusiastic about it than Matty, though equally happy to see him.  
"Sorry I didn't let you know sooner, mate. Knew you wouldn't mind me coming round though. I'm just bored today so I need something to do. Any ideas?" Matty started the conversation once he and Ross had sat on the sofa in Ross' living room.  
"I mean, we could ask Adam if he and Fin wanted to meet up and practise for the band?" Ross suggested and Matty quickly nodded his head, his interest in this new band they had already growing a substantial amount after just one band practise. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What do you mean 'Fin's got a new band and left us'? The band only started yesterday and he's already replaced us? Are you fucking joking? Who's gonna sing for us now?" Matty complained to Adam, running his hand through his gelled-up hair, rather annoyed at the inconvenient news.  
"What I mean, Matty, is that Fin decided we weren't good enough for his band. But anyway, fuck him. He was a shitty singer anyway and we all know it." Adam reasoned to Matty, who rolled his eyes.  
"Well, What matters now is that we need a new singer. I'm sure we can replace Fin easliy enough. Do you two know anyone?" Ross asked, and Matty shook his head while the blond-ish-brown-haired boy sorted through his mind, racking his thoughts for anyone who could be of any use.  
"I don't know anyone who could be our singer...but I do know another drummer. But that would mean...wait, Matty. Can you sing at all?" Adam queried with a sudden expression of hope on his face.  
A look of confusion set its place on the shorter boy's face as he replied to Hann's question. "I mean. I don't know I've never really tried. I guess I maybe could though, if that's the only way for this band to keep going."  
Ross smiled and Adam clapped his hands, excitedly. "Great! I know a guy called George Daniel. He's quite a good drummer so he can play drums and Matty you can sing for us, alright?" Matty nodded while he watched Adam get his phone out and type something to who he assumed could have only been this George Daniel that Adam mentioned. "He'll meet us here soon."

Adam had told the potential new addition to the band to meet the three at Matty's house, since they'd all gone back there after meeting up. Matty wasn't sure how he felt about a random boy he'd never met or even heard of coming to his house, but he was willing to let it happen for the good of the band. And though Matty was sceptical at first, as soon as George had arrived and dived head-first through a portable toilet for the builders, who were doing construction on the Healy house, Matty thought 'yeah, this is the final addition to the band.' And he was right, George Daniel turned out to be a very good drummer and in fact, Matty seemed to be an alright singer. Who knew Adam's Dad's old music gear would be useful to his son and his friends. The newest member of the group had almost immediately cemented himself into the group. It was as though the fate of these four boys to be best friends had been set in stone since the day they were born. They grew impossibly close in such a short amount of time, a matter of hours, but this was how Matty, Ross, Adam and George knew. This was something special. Something that would last a lifetime. A friendship, born from nothing and blossomed into everything in just a day, unimaginable to anyone who hadn't experienced such a fast-paced growth of family. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night, the four boys decided to sleep at Matty's house, without any spare clothes because they'd just use the ones from today in the morning, after sleeping in those same clothes, too. And as Matty lay on his living room floor, George on his left and Ross and Adam on his right, he smiled. A genuine smile. One that wasn't for a reason. Not because he was so happy. But for the sake of smiling, because now he felt he had no reason not to smile, because now, he had found what he'd always wanted. Something to work and live for. People that he could call home.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically I chat so much shit in this book. Like wtf am I even on about half the time? Lmao. Anyway, hope u enjoyed it. I love writing this story and pls feel free to leave votes and comment as they're much appreciated. Also, sorry again if anything doesn't make sense. Feel free to comment anything u don't get and I'll explain xx. -Daisy Xx


	4. Tell Me This Isn’t For Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys perform at the talent show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter a while ago and I kinda just forgot to post it. Also this story gets updated on Wattpad before it does on here and there’s also a playlist for it on wattpad so you can read it on there if you want. This chapter has been on wattpad for ages. Sorry the chapters are slow because I’m back in school now so I don’t have a lot of time anymore but I am gonna finish this because there are too many books I don’t finish. BY THE WAY MY WATTPAD USER IS @The1975SDMN and u can find the book on there xx

Today was the day of the talent show. The four boys would be performing their own rendition of 'ghostbusters' to a crowd for the first time as 'the slow down'. Matty can't lie, as he was sitting backstage in his school, next to George, while Ross and Adam were sorting out some stuff, he was nervous. Nervous because he wanted people to like the band. He didn't want this band to fail like every other teenage band. Matty felt in his heart, and he knew the others could feel it too, that they were different. This couldn't be for nothing. They just had to do it right. 

"Alright, so next up we've got a band. Four boys from year 9! It's Ross, George, Matty and Adam! It's the slow down!" The volunteered presenter for the talent show jeered. Welcoming the boys into the stage.

As Matty reached the mic, he spoke slowly and as coolly as he could in the situation. This day, he put extra gel in his hair and his pale palms were extra sweaty. "Hello everyone, we're the slow down and we're gonna do a performance of ghostbusters." Matty took a step back and George started playing the drums first as Adam and Ross joined in. Once Matty had started singing, he felt freed, like he didn't have to care what anyone thought of his band, for he realised they were doing this for them. So, he sang in his own way and did some silly little dance moved, which got some of the girls in his year cheering for him. He got lost in the music and that's just the way he wanted it. He was sure if you were close enough to him at this point, and if his eyes were open, you'd be able to see the shimmer of belonging in his eye. Like he belonged on a stage. The white lights caressed Matty's every feature, an angel, so exposed, yet so hidden by the spotlight. The beauty of a new band, in that you've known them as people for years, but in the music they create, a new side of someone you thought you knew becomes visible.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the show had finished, everyone cheered for them. Matty was proud of his band. No. Their band. He hoped that they could continue this onto the distant future, for the feeling of this to never end. He hoped that the slow down's first and only live performance would not be their last. This is what they wanted and this is what they'll be.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading as usual xxx I also haven’t been on because I forgot my password for this account but I remembered it yesterday so I’m BACK. Also if you read all the notes at the start thanks I’m surprised. Byee xx - Daisy Xx

**Author's Note:**

> HEY so basically this is the first chapter and tbh idk wtf I'm writing I'm just gonna go with it. Lmk if you like it (might be a bit confusing at the start but it will get easier to understand I promise) Sorry this chapter is so short the rest won't be like this. It's just to set the atmosphere of the story I guess...   
> \- Daisy Xx


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